Monday, May 17, 2010

CI 5410 Week 10.1 – Chapter 4, exercise 22; “An Early Memory, Part One: The Child as Narrator”

The following creative example is in response to Bernays' and Painter's (1990) exercise titled An Early Memory, Part One: The Child as Narrator. In this exercise, B&P argue that although the phrase "write what you know" has become completely cliche, it does hold extremely true: "Your own life - and your memories of it - have an intensity and immediacy that are useful in creating fiction" (64). However, B&P argue that it is integral for writers to explore and consider their proximity to their own memories, more specifically, the idea that "it's not just what you know, but how you see it, shape it, and enhance it with your imagination" (64).

In part ONE of this exercise, B&P challenge writers to recall and write about an event in the most objective voice possible, working to NOT color the recollection with current/adult perceptions, feelings, wishes, and so on. In other words, B&P challenge writers to present the "facts" of the recollection as accurately as possible, coloring the event with perceptions and emotional tones appropriate for a CHILD. As a result, the recollection should present the narrative "without nudging the reader or in any way explaining what she has written" (65).

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I lose sight of my favorite soccer ball as it bounces down the big field of green grass between the two backyards. As I run to find it and kick it back up the field, I see that the neighbor’s backyard looks really different – there was a huge field of grass yesterday, and now there are tall mountains of dirt all over the place. I pick up my ball and run into the yard. I have to run fast because mom and dad wouldn’t let me go over there. They would say that I would just hurt myself.

What I find looks like a big, brown castle – a huge trench is dug around the back of the neighbor’s house, and it is filled with muddy water just like a moat. I kick the ball around in the dirt for a while and climb all over the dirt hills. The ball bounces off of one of the huge mountains and falls down into the muddy water, and I wonder if this moat works like a real moat. If real moats are used to trap people and keep them out of castles, a good way to test the realness of this moat would be to push my friend Kevin in and see if he got stuck.

I walk over to Kevin’s house with my ball under my arm and see my mom on the front steps shaking the dust out of a rug. I try to walk by without her seeing me, but she stops me and asks,

“Why are you so dirty? You look like you’re up to no good.”

“I’m just playing,” I say bouncing my ball off of my knee. “Can I go over to Kevin’s?”

“Sure,” she says waving the dust out of her face. “Just try not to get any more dirt on your clothes.”

Kevin’s dad answers the door and I ask if Kevin can come out and play. I wait on Kevin’s front steps bouncing the ball off of the side of their house, and Kevin's dad tells me to stop it. After he sees my ball, Kevin comes outside and steals it from me.

“Let me show you something really cool,” I say.

“What is it?” he asks kicking the ball past me.

“I found a big hole in their backyard,” I say pointing to the neighbor’s house. "It looks like a moat."

“Like a castle?” Kevin asks.

“Just like a castle,” I say. I feel good that I am able to get Kevin to come without him knowing what I am going to do to him.

Kevin runs ahead of me with my ball, and we both wave at my mom as she shakes the dust out of another rug.

After we kick the ball around in the dirt and play king of the hill on the mountains for a while, I tell Kevin to look at the moat. As he leans over the hole, I run up behind him, push him as hard as I can, and run. I hear Kevin splash into the water and start crying as I cross into our yard and hide behind the side of our house. At first, I feel good because I proved that the moat was a real moat, but then I get scarred and run home because Kevin doesn't stop crying. I can still hear Kevin crying my entire way back.

As I walk up our front steps, mom is waiting for me with her hands on her hips and the telephone in her hands. Dad is standing behind her in the house with his arms crossed.

“Kevin’s father is on the phone,” she says, pointing the phone at me. “Did you push Kevin into a hole in the neighbor’s backyard?”

“Yes,” I say, spinning my ball in my hands.

“I knew you were up to no good,” she yells. “Why on earth did you do that?”

I tell her that I wanted to see if the neighbor had a real moat or not, and Kevin helped me test it out. Mom tells me that Kevin's dad is really mad at me and doesn't think I should play with Kevin anymore.

“Was it worth it?” dad asks from the inside of the house.

I drop my ball and start crying.

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